Lundi, 9 février 2015

VENDRE : 3e PLUS GRAND STRESS D’UNE VIE!

La plupart des gens associent la notion de deuil à décès. Un lien naturel tout à fait normal. Cependant, nous vivons un deuil lors de tout changement qui marque notre vie.

 

Perte d’emploi, séparation ou divorce, les enfants qui quittent la maison, sont autant d’exemples au cours desquels nous avons un deuil à faire. Mais un autre changement de vie marquant représente un deuil à surmonter : le déménagement. Quitter une propriété que nous avons habitée pendant des dizaines d’années n’est pas, pour la plupart d’entre nous, un exercice facile qui va de soi.



Pour plusieurs, tourner la page sur ces nombreuses années, remplies de souvenirs, souvent heureux mais parfois éprouvants, peut  prendre un certain temps. Alors que certains réussissent à concevoir ce changement de vie comme un nouveau départ excitant, un passage salutaire nécessaire, un projet, d’autres ne s’en remettent malheureusement jamais. Dans les cas extrêmes, ce déracinement est si intense que certaines personnes n’apprivoiseront pas le changement et développeront des maladies chroniques, des dépressions, voire en mourront.

POURQUOI ?

Pourquoi? Il faut comprendre tout d’abord que de vendre sa propriété, peu importe la période de temps que nous l’avons habitée, représente un stress émotionnel important. Un sondage réalisé en 2006 par la firme française TNS Sofres démontre que pour 76% d’entre nous, déménager constitue un stress important et ce, plus particulièrement pour les femmes, qui ont avoué à 82% avoir vécu un très mauvais moment.



LE STRESS CAUSÉ PAR LE DÉMÉNAGEMENT

SE CLASSE AU 3e RANG DES GRANDS STRESS


De telles statistiques ne mentent pas. Le stress causé par le déménagement se classe au troisième rang des grands stress que pourrait vivre un être humain, après le décès d’un être cher et un licenciement. On quitte littéralement sa zone de confort pour se lancer vers l’inconnu. On perd ses repères. Face au défi que représentent un nouveau quartier, un nouveau voisinage, un espace de vie parfois plus restreint, maintes questions viennent à l’esprit du ou des vendeurs. Et c’est normal. Pour les couples du bel âge, qui ont vu les enfants grandir dans cette propriété, qui ont investi temps et argent afin de rendre celle-ci des plus confortables et accueillantes possible, cette brisure est profonde.



L’attachement et la valeur sentimentale qu’ils y accordent est souvent sans commune mesure. Et bien que ces sentiments soient louables, ils ne justifient en rien, aux yeux de l’acheteur potentiel, le prix qui est demandé,parfois surélevé au départ. Pour les couples plus jeunes, dont les enfants demeurent encore à la maison, le stress est amplifié par la déstabilisation que vivront ceux-ci. Pour eux, quelques années suffisent pour s’ancrer dans le milieu. L’éloignement des amis d’enfance et un nouvel environnement scolaire font partie des bouleversements qu’ils auront à vivre.



Afin de favoriser un apprivoisement plus rapide et facile, certains thérapeutes conseillent même de permettre aux enfants de participer au processus d’achat. Ainsi, lors des visites de propriétés, ils pourront donner leur opinion sur l’espace de vie dont ils hériteront, sur l’environnement immédiat de la propriété, sur le quartier, etc. Voilà une stratégie que je recommande afin de minimiser le stress et, en bout de ligne, le deuil associé à ce grand changement. Selon  Valérie Deslandes, hypnothérapeute spécialisée dans le deuil et auteure du livre « Se faire à l’idée… »: « Lors d’un déménagement, vous pouvez vivre des émotions comme la tristesse, la culpabilité, l’impuissance, la peur, l’abandon et bien d’autres. Un deuil peut prendre très peu de temps à apprivoiser, mais ignorer un deuil peut vous poursuivre toute votre vie. »

Bien que tous les couples puissent vivre une telle expérience, force est d’admettre que les personnes âgées sont plus susceptibles de vivre parallèlement, ou le plus souvent préalablement, un véritable deuil, causé par la perte de l’être cher. Le conjoint survivant se retrouve seul, plongé dans tous ses souvenirs, au moindre pas qu’il effectue dans la propriété. D’autres, dont les capacités réduites par la maladie ou l’âge tout simplement, ne sont plus en mesure de tenir maison.

Les enfants tentent alors de convaincre le parent survivant de vendre la propriété, pour opter vers un choix plus sécuritaire : la résidence ou le condo. Or, malgré leurs bonnes intentions, les enfants peuvent forcer la main du parent. Un changement aussi drastique, dans une période si pénible, peut être néfaste. Il faut que le conjoint survivant prenne le temps de faire son deuil, le vrai, avant de pouvoir même penser à ce second deuil, à s’arracher possiblement aux dernières parcelles de souvenirs qu’il ou qu’elle aura partagées avec son défunt conjoint.

Même si une période d’un an semble adéquate, certaines personnes auront besoin de plus temps. D’autres, par contre, seront prêtes à faire le saut bien avant, parce qu’elles auront amorcé intérieurement leur deuil, face au détachement, à l’abandon d’objets, de murs, d’un quartier, qui auront marqué une grande partie de leur vie. Dans certains cas, le conjoint survivant, ou même les parents de leur vivant, proposeront à l’un de leurs enfants de racheter la propriété. Si le tout se concrétise, ils pourront ainsi revenir à l’occasion et cette éventualité minimisera le sentiment de détachement dans leur esprit. Il s’agit ici cependant de cas plutôt rares.

C’est une réalité avec laquelle les courtiers immobiliers doivent composer. Sans toutefois prétendre que nous devons agir aussi comme psychologues, il est clair que nous avons un rôle de compassion, de grande écoute, à jouer parfois auprès de notre clientèle. Nous devons être en mesure d’aider celle-ci à s’identifier plus rapidement à un projet de vie bien défini. Visualiser le nouvel habitat, le nouveau style de vie qui s’y rattache, le nouvel environnement de vie, et prendre conscience des avantages de cette nouvelle vie, voilà déjà un deuil qui est bien amorcé.

C’est en étant plus humains que nous pouvons les aider à vivre cet important changement et les émotions qui y sont liées. Des courtiers immobiliers dits « relationnels », c’est-à-dire qui misent avant tout sur la qualité de la relation avec le client, réussiront davantage dans cette importante mission.

L’IMMOBILIER, UN STYLE DE VIE


Détentrice d’un baccalauréat en Criminologie de l’Université de Montréal, Mélissa a d’abord œuvré dans ce domaine quelques années avant de se joindre au réseau immobilier. Son professionnalisme, sa détermination, son amour du détail, sa franchise et son sourire remarquable séduisent à coup sûr. Passionnée par l’immobilier, Mélissa a développé une excellente connaissance du marché depuis plus de 13 ans.

Suivez la chronique de Mélissa Mensing, tous les premiers jeudis du mois à 16h30, sur les ondes de CKVL, Radio LaSalle 100,1 FM.

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Ddsfs - 26 avril 2018
ST. LOUIS -- Dexter Fowler avoided the first water-cooler shower, juking his way through a mob of teammates giddy on the infield dirt. oakland athletics jersers texas rangers jersers He could not avoid the second, the cold celebration that came minutes later, near his dugout.

"I thought I eluded them, but los angeles angels of anaheim jersers they got me!" Fowler said afterwards. "I'll be ready next time."

View Full Game Coverage
Fowler on his walk-off knock
Fowler on his walk-off knock
01:02
1:15 PM ET

Fowler's bath came as a reward for his 13th-inning single off Paul Sewald, which helped the Cardinals cap a long Thursday at Busch Stadium with a 4-3 walk-off win over the Mets. Fowler's hit made a winner of John Gant, who threw three scoreless innings of long relief in his season debut, and brought a climactic end to an afternoon in which Carlos Martinez and Noah Syndergaard dueled.

"It felt like a playoff atmosphere," Fowler said. "We could see them again in the playoffs."wholesale baseball jersers

Such long-distance forecasting is uncommon in the Cardinals' clubhouse, where focusing on the present qualifies as standard doctrine. But Fowler wasn't the only one alluding to the postseason Thursday, or speaking of the win in excitable terms. Jose Martinez called it the best victory of the season. Manager Mike Matheny called it "special."

Cards on walk-off win over Mets
Cards on walk-off win over Mets
01:01
1:15 PM ET

"It was one of the best games I ever colorado rockies jersers played," Martinez said. "We never gave up."

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Ozuna's RBI single in the 7th
Ozuna's RBI single in the 7th
00:47
1:15 PM wholesale baseball jersers ET

"This was the miami marlins jersers most special game today for us," Matheny said. "It took a little bit of everything. It took the entire roster."

Gant wasn't even on the roster until a few hours prior to first pitch, swung up from Memphis as insurance to cover innings John Brebbia could not, after Brebbia's three-inning save Wednesday. Gant entered after Martinez tied cincinnati reds jersers the game with a two-out double in the 10th, then breezed through a full turn of the Mets' lineup unscathed.

"So much fun to be involved," Gant said. "To compete is what I feel like I'm miami marlins jersers here for, and it's an amazing feeling."

Gant K's Cabrera
Gant K's Cabrera
00:11
1:15 PM ET

Martinez's two-out hit scored Tommy Pham and saved the Cardinals a half-inning after Luke Gregerson walked in the go-ahead run with the bases loaded. Pham started St. Louis' first rally with a double in the seventh, and finished with four hits, just one day after suffering a bizarre head injury in the batting cage. Two of those hits came off Syndergaard, who lined up with Carlos Martinez in a rematch of Opening Day starters.

Pham's four-hit game
Pham's four-hit game
01:00
1:15 PM ET

There were 37,762 fans at Busch Stadium expecting to see a high-octane duel, and that's what they got, though both starters were long gone by the end. Syndergaard's defense spoiled what was a dominant start through six; he finished with two runs (one earned) allowed over 7 1/3 innings. Martinez scattered four hits and a run over six frames, routinely wiggling out of jams brought upon by three hit batsmen.

"That's unique, going into a rubber game against a good team with a good starter," Matheny said. "Great series."

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