Il y a quelques années, j’entrais dans une nouvelle vie… celle du monde des célibataires! Est-ce la crise de la trentaine ou un manque d’amour qui a créé la fin d’une relation d’une dizaine d’années avec mon ex-conjoint?
Un peu comme la chanson de Joe Dassin, « Salut les amoureux », nous n’étions pas faits pour vivre ensemble; ça ne suffit pas toujours de s’aimer bien! On s’est quitté dans le but de ne plus s’ennuyer ensemble et enfin découvrir ce que c’est de vivre le grand amour ou du moins, on l’espérait! Il était mon meilleur ami, mon partenaire d’affaires, loin d’être l’amoureux convoité... Étais-je naïve de croire que notre couple négligé par nos boulots allait survivre au fil des ans sans y faire un peu d’introspection?
Vous pouvez acheter la voiture la plus performante au monde, sans entretien, elle perdra sa fière allure et elle ne procurera pas le même plaisir qu’au premier jour! Ayant été un peu comme cette voiture, la flamme entre nous s’est éteinte et il était trop tard pour la raviver. Un feu bien éteint ne se remettra jamais à brûler. Il ne faut jamais regretter nos expériences de vie, car elles forgent qui nous sommes aujourd’hui.
À quoi bon livrer cette bataille sans fin qui rend mes rêves plus difficiles? J’ai voyagé si loin dans le but de trouver l’amour. Je l’ai trouvé par l’amour de soi! La première personne que nous devons aimer sans condition est nous-même. Par la suite, il sera possible d’aimer une tierce personne. Qui sait si demain sera ensoleillé ou orageux? Je veux changer cette vie de solitaire et regarder l’avenir main dans la main. Prendre le temps d’aimer les choses simples de la vie et de le partager. Prendre le temps d’aimer et d’être aimée, de le sentir, de le vivre, de le démontrer! À quoi bon faire semblant? Je ne peux le fuir. Est-ce maintenant lui qui veut me fuir? J’attends, je prends mon temps…
Je ne sais pas pourquoi, à l’approche de la fin du calendrier Maya, les gens deviennent curieux… Il y a sans cesse les spectres du passé qui veulent resurgir et avoir une nouvelle chance avec moi. Justement, le passé n’est plus! Cette naïveté qui nous sidère sans fin d’accepter d’ouvrir la porte de son cœur de crainte d’être heureux à deux? C’est un peu laisser la crainte d’être retiré, nous empêcher de jouer un match! Mon cœur effrayé veut dire oui.
Source : LaMetropole.com
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