Vendredi, 15 juin 2012

M. PIROULINES!

Je vais vous raconter l’histoire de M. Piroulines… ou du « wanna be » M. Piroulines… Les gens croient parfois que l’adage « A beau mentir qui vient de loin » est véridique…

 

C’était peut-être vrai avant l’accès à Internet! J’étais sur un site de rencontre quand ce bel homme virtuel m’a abordée. Il avait un beau look sur son profil, mais c’est son texte qui m’a plu. Cet entrepreneur disait voyager beaucoup et faire du bénévolat dans un hôpital pour enfants. Costa, ce Monsieur Parfait grec, m’a donné rendez-vous dans un lieu branché de Montréal, le Whisky Café, au coin de la rue Bernard et du boulevard St-Laurent. J’arrive avec quelques minutes d’avance et je m’assois au bar en attendant l’arrivée de Costa. 

Avec une quinzaine de minutes de retard, je vois cet homme arriver… Comment pouvait-il expliquer avoir perdu dix centimètres et pris une cinquantaine de livres durant la nuit? Celui qui se disait être athlétique dans sa fiche était loin d’avoir un corps d’Adonis… Du haut de son mètre soixante-sept (deux centimètres de plus que moi), avec un surplus de poids apparent, ça commençait mal notre première rencontre. Puisque j’avais déjà mon drink en main, je me suis dit aussi bien prendre une quinzaine de minutes pour jaser. Peut-être qu’il avait un bel intérieur et que ça valait la peine de le découvrir. Je lui ai demandé ce qu’il faisait dans la vie. 

Je sais, nous aurions pu nous éviter cela si nous avions jasé au téléphone, mais j’aimais l’idée de garder un peu de pétillant pour une vraie rencontre et découvrir le sujet… Il me dit qu’il est propriétaire et président d’une société de biscuits. « Quelles sortes? », lui ai-je demandé. Costa me raconte que son grand-père a inventé les Piroulines dans les années cinquante en Grèce. Je le regarde perplexe et me demande s’il croit que je suis idiote à ce point. J’hésite à prendre mon iPhone pour valider l’information avec Google, car une amie, maître de la bienséance, m’a enseigné à ranger mon cellulaire lorsque je rencontre des gens. 

Je décide de le faire parler et de voir jusqu’où il ira. En plus des Piroulines, Costa l’entrepreneur a aussi inventé les biscottes Rusk. Devais-je lui dire que ma grand-mère avait inventé les Post-it?!! Je rentre alors en mode de la blonde naïve. Je lui demande combien il a d’employés. Il devient volubile et en rajoute à son scénario de bas niveau! L’homme qui dit habiter dans une maison jumelée du quartier de ville St-Laurent serait président et propriétaire d’une grande société qui embauche 3 800 personnes en Grèce et 15 000 dans le monde! Comment se fait-il qu’un homme qui vaut autant habite un jumelé et non une maison dans un quartier avec une sécurité accrue?

Je le regarde et je lui dis avec un sourire : « Wow, je suis honorée d’être en compagnie d’un homme aussi grand que toi! » Son égo augmente… « Je suis Costa, un homme bien simple, dit-il. Je n’ai pas besoin de travailler, je fais un appel téléphonique le matin pour m’assurer que tout va bien et je suis libre le reste du temps. Grâce à ma vision d’entrepreneur, j’ai quintuplé la production depuis dix ans et le chiffre d’affaires explose. » Je l’interroge à savoir comment sa société vit la crise économique actuelle en Grèce. Sa réponse évasive : « Ça va très très bien (soulignons les deux très!), je suis à l’aise financièrement, ça va bien pour moi, je suis simplement Costa! »

Note à Costa : Un homme riche ne s’en vente pas, un président d’entreprise s’implique dans sa société, il ne joue pas un rôle passif et un homme aussi populaire et connu que toi ne devrait pas avoir affaire aux sites de rencontres par Internet.

Puisque mon interlocuteur n’avait pas terminé sa consommation, je m’informe sur son bénévolat à l’hôpital pour enfants. Il dit qu’il passe tous ses weekends là-bas depuis 20 ans à lire des histoires aux enfants. Quelques minutes plus tôt, il me disait être à Montréal depuis douze ans… 

Note à Costa : Prends des notes pour moins te tromper dans tes mensonges! Il disait qu’il remettait à la société, car la vie est très généreuse avec lui… Il se croyait, je ne l’ai pas contredit. Enfin, il a bu sa dernière gorgée! Ce riche homme d’affaires n’avait pas le huit dollars pour payer son drink; il a payé avec sa carte débit. 

Le soi-disant homme prospère était un vrai gentleman, car il m’a laissé payer mon drink. Curieusement, sa voiture était garée loin… Il fallait prendre un autobus, tellement elle était garée loin. Il m’avait divertie pour quarante-cinq minutes! En arrivant chez moi, j’ai rapidement trouvé l’information erronée de Costa. Je riais en constatant qu’il avait beurré épais! Le lendemain, quand il m’a écrit pour me dire qu’il aimerait me revoir, j’ai continué à jouer la femme naïve… Je lui ai écrit : « Costa, j’ai vraiment de la peine pour toi et ta famille. Il faudrait poursuivre Wikipédia et la famille De Beukelaer, car on dit que les Piroulines ont été inventées par cette famille en Belgique en 1984! C’est moche de s’approprier ainsi l’invention de ton défunt grand-père… »

Je me demande comment une personne peut être aussi naïve que Costa et inventer une histoire invraisemblable comme ça! Il était facile à démasquer… Il doit réussir à charmer certaines femmes en faisant croire qu’il est riche… Tôt ou tard, elles verront qui il est… À tellement vouloir me faire croire une histoire impossible, je m’interroge à savoir si dans le fond ce n’était un fantasme pour lui d’être un jour à la tête de cette société juste pour avoir des Piroulines à volonté…

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